Love & Money: How Couples Can Talk About Finances Without Fighting
- Katie Kimball Dyer
- Jan 19
- 2 min read
Updated: Jan 19
When Alex and Jordan first moved in together, they quickly realized that splitting rent was the easy part. Talking about credit card balances? Not so much.
Like many couples, they had different money habits. One was a saver, the other a spender. Conversations about bills often turned into arguments, and both dreaded “the money talk.”
But avoiding the topic only made things worse. Once they started setting aside regular time for financial check-ins, everything changed.
Money stopped being a fight and became a shared plan.
Why Communication Matters
Finances are one of the top causes of stress in relationships. When money is kept secret — or only talked about in moments of crisis — trust can erode fast.
Transparent conversations about money:
Build trust and partnership
Align financial goals
Prevent misunderstandings about debt or spending
Create a sense of teamwork instead of tension
How to Start the Conversation
Pick a neutral time. Don’t bring up money after a fight or when bills are overdue.
Start with shared goals. Saving for a vacation or buying a home feels more positive than focusing only on debt.
Use “we” language. Shift from “you spent” to “how can we plan.”
Bring all the accounts. Make sure both partners know where money is saved, invested, and owed.
Make It a Habit: Financial Date Nights
Instead of one big stressful sit-down, try scheduling monthly financial date nights.
It doesn’t have to be boring:
Pour a glass of wine or make it a coffee shop date.
Review progress toward your shared goals.
Talk about any upcoming expenses.
Celebrate wins together (paid off a card, built savings, stuck to a budget).
Try This Today
Schedule a 30-minute “money check-in” with your partner this week.
Bring a list of accounts, balances, and goals.
End with one small action step you’ll take together (like setting up automatic transfers or reviewing insurance).
Want guidance on setting financial goals as a couple?
Let’s connect.
Katie’s Key Takeaway
Money talks don’t have to be battles. When couples treat finances as a shared project, money becomes a tool for building the life you want together not a source of conflict.
